I raised my voice just enough to be heard over party chatter, trying to slip the command into normal conversation.“Oh, my goodness, Helen!” I said in Italian, making sure she hadn’t spilled her drink on herself. Luckily, Rita knew it was coming and was enough of a pro to recognize that the moment wasn’t right for a pratfall, so she managed not to. She followed my lead to laugh it off as I put my arm around her. “I am so sorry!” I said, before giving the command. “This is my good friend, Contessa Helena de San Finzione, everyone!”It wasn’t the perfect solution. I’d have to come up with an excuse to do something like that a couple more times, say it to a few of them face-to-face; but a large enough group near us now, if Rita’s performance thus far hadn’t convinced them, deeply understood that Rita was Helen. We’d opened up the buffet before Lucinda showed up as well, to be sure they’d be more concerned with filling their plates than turning their heads for her entrance.That same. They walked in and immediately Craig gave her a peck on the cheek. "Hey, old bird. You're looking good," he said to her lovingly."Hello son. And you're full of shit. So who's the white boy?" she said with a hint of suspicion."Don't start, Ma. This is my friend Joe. Joe, this my dear mother whom I do not wish to claim at all times."Before they shook hands she told Craig what a bastard he was. Joe enjoyed their playful bantering, wishing he had that type of relationship with his mother. Craig's mom was a big woman with a beautiful smile. She deeply resembled her son."Nice to meet you, Mrs. Bellingham." Likewise Joe. Come into the kitchen for dinner." Mother, you cooked dinner?" Craig said, surprised."No, the dinner you're about to cook." If you weren't my mother..." Craig retorted."You wouldn't be here shithead. You know where everything is, baby. Come sit down Joe, make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink? Beer, pop, water?" I'll take a beer." Well use the two legs.
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